Hi, I’m Sheila, and I can’t stand Christian pat answers.

I believe Jesus when he said “By their fruit you will recognize them.” As a result, I am all about healthy, evidence-based, biblical advice for your marriage and sex life. Since 2003, I’ve been writing, blogging and speaking. Here’s a snapshot of who I am:

Public Speaker

I speak at women’s events, women’s conferences, church outreaches, marriage conferences internationally.


My 2021 best-selling book The Great Sex Rescue has upended the Christian marriage industry by asking, “What if the typical Christian advice is actually making things worse?”


I blog everyday at To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, one of the largest marriage blogs in North America, where I challenge pat Christian answers through original research of over 32,500 participants to date. 

Podcast Host

I host the Bare Marriage podcast, which gained over a million downloads in its first three years.


I send out newsletters to a list of over 45,000 people to equip Christians to be able to separate toxic teachings from life-giving guidance.

Wife and Mom

Family is the fuel for my ministry. I’ve been married for over 30 years, and we have a family of two grown girls, one baby boy in heaven, two wonderful son-in-laws, and now two adorable grandchildren.

Newsletter Subscribers

Blog Posts

Books Written

Speaking Events

What are people saying about Sheila?

Sheila’s wit, humor, personal life experiences and Biblical perspective ministered to our multi-generational crowd of women and left us laughing and weeping at the feet of Jesus. God has gifted her with the ability to relate His Word in a way that’s easy to apply to how we live today. She gets down to the level where women really live.

Laurie Shaffer

Director, Michigan Missionary Church Women, Michigan Missionary Church

Sheila is SO on-point! I am always getting new insight on relationships, communication, intimacy, and God.

Thank you for speaking up and being a “safe” source to learn from about good and helthy sex. For quite a Long time I thought that media/porn were the only sources that actually dared to speak out loud about what sex really is like. I didnt want to learn from that, but started thinking i had no choice since church always seemed to avoid the topic. Im really thankful that I was proved wrong. 😊

Blog Reader

You talk directly on subjects without beating around the bush and I also appreciate not giving the “PAT” Christian perspectives or responses that are so frustrating and common.

You are the most open, real Christian sister I have You’ve talked about things I never heard any other Christians sister talk about in my life. I really value your insights and wisdom and fearlessness to bring much needed help to the Christian community in these sensitive subjects.

I just wanted to say thanks for loving Jesus, being passionate about the topics and message God has called you to communicate, not pulling any punches and giving voice to emotions and feelings that, sometimes, our wives can’t express themselves (or at least not in a way that we guys can understand).


Podcast Listener

Just wanted to thank you again for speaking at our GNO. Everyone left so happy and inspired. One lady dropped around the house the other day to pay for our Chick Flick Night Dinner and a Movie and she said when she arrived home she felt so high her husband had to sit up and take notice. He said ” what happened to you” She said “I had the most wonderful evening.” So thank you!


After Girls Night Out Event, Mississauga

Straight-shooting advice

Have you ever found that a lot of the church’s answers for really big problems tend to be, well, a little trite?

Sheila’s not afraid to tackle them–and she brings research to the table!

Find More Sheila

Visit the Bare Marriage Blog

want sheila for your  event?
book her now!

Want to book Sheila for your in-person or online event? Fill in this booking form. Looking to book an interview with Sheila or a member of her team? Fill in our interview form. For all other inquiries, use this contact form and Tammy will get back to you shortly!

3 + 4 =