But let’s give our heads a collective shake and agree that while spanking with a rod may be harmful, it certainly isn’t as harmful as wrenching a six-year-old girl from her father’s arms, as the Children’s Aid Society did in the Aylmer case. Unfortuntely, Judge Eleanor Schnall disagrees with such common sense wisdom, and last week opened the doors for similar cases across the province by ruling that the Children’s Aid worker acted correctly by removing the children from their home.

If spanking with a rod in and of itself really were horrible enough to warrant removal from a family, then my husband should have been taken away from his parents, my mother should have been taken away from hers, and likely every person you know over the age of 35 should all have been placed in state orphanages rather than being subjected to their horrible parents.

Yet were these parents truly horrible? My mother-in-law devoted herself to her boys, making sure they did well in school, acted appropriately, and had plenty of fun memories. My father-in-law taught them responsibility, a good work ethic, humour and a love for the Detroit Red Wings. (The latter, much to his chagrin, didn’t stick). And yes, occasionally, they both spanked their kids with “rods”, as did every other parent they knew at the time. While some Leafs fans may disagree, it’s quite evident to me that the boys were lucky to have the loving parents they did.

As I’ve been thinking about this case, I wonder if we’re misplacing our emphasis. Does spanking really rank up there as one of the worst things you can do to a child? I think it’s getting all the attention it does because it’s easily quantifiable: you either did it or you didn’t. Because it’s easy to measure, it’s theoretically easy to remove children from parents who do discipline in this way. Most “bad” parents, though, will never have their children taken away, because what they do, though far worse, cannot be measured.

This family in Aylmer, by all accounts, played with their children, supervised their education, read to them, played sports with them, went strawberry picking with them, sang with them, and in general did everything they could to create a loving family environment.

On the other side of the spectrum are parents who would never dream of spanking, yet would also never dream of sacrificing a Saturday afternoon to practise baseball with a struggling Little Leaguer. They ensure their children are dressed well, fed well, and have a decent place to live, but they spend almost no time with them. One recent study found that parents, on average, read to their children for four minutes a day. If you’re reading Goldilocks and the Three Bears, that’s not even enough time to get to the baby bear’s chair!

As parents, we all crave time to ourselves. Kids, too, need the opportunity to explore, imagine and play on their own. Too many kids, though, live lives almost completely cut off from their parents, as they watch TV in their own rooms, play Nintendo alone, and then go hang out with friends down the street. Parents may not spank, but they don’t do a whole lot of anything else, either.