Here are Some of your Tips...

Many of you sent in great tips on how to deal with some of the things raised in To Love, Honor and Vacuum. Just read below for some help.

Here's what one woman says:

"Make sure he has a place to put all of his stuff. Give him a desk, or a corner of the bedroom, that's his. Then he won't dump stuff where you don't want it!".

Sounds like a good idea to me. Usually the reason we have clutter piling up, after all, is because there's no natural place for it to go.

So here's my quick answer (I go into this in much more detail in the book):

First, remember: it's more important that your husband play with your kids than that he clean. If he works long hours, he may not have a lot of time at home. And the kids need him.

But that being said, if he's not working long hours (or if his hours are as long as yours), it may seem fair that he does help. You're probably right, but remember these things:

1. Nagging doesn't work and it drives him away. If he feels judged or treated like a child, he'll resent you and not want to help.

2. Men thrive on appreciation. Thank him for doing things, even if it's things you've been doing for years. It will make it more likely he'll do things again.

3. Don't demand that he do everything your way. If it's not cleaned to your satisfaction, at least it's better than it was before. If you make him feel inadequate, he's not going to want to help at all.

4. Ask. We women often assume men know what they should be doing. But most men weren't raised to clean, and most don't really think of the house as their responsibility.

So if you want something done, ask him. Don't wait for him to notice the piles he's left in the living room. But ask him simply, without sounding judgmental, and

it's more likely to get done.

How do I get my kids to do chores in the summer?

I spent chapter 5 and 6 in To Love, Honor and Vacuum talking about how to get kids to do chores, including using allowances, praising them, teaching them, and the philosophy that we're raising kids to be independent. I always say, "the best gift you can give your daughter-in-law is a son who cleans toilets!".

But when I speak, I often hear other great ideas of how to motivate kids. Here are some good ones from two women talking about chores in the summer:

I make a chart with each child's name and a list of ways to earn points. They could include keeping the room clean, chores, doing dishes, etc. When a certain number of points were

earned, rewards included things like a trip to Chuck E Cheese or bowling or a movie if the point totals were high enough-or simple rewards like McDonalds for smaller totals.

- Elaine Britt

I always had jobs that never seemed to get done so I would make a list of 3 types of jobs written on 3 different colors of paper. The job description (such as straightening the game

closet plus finding all the pieces to the games) and the amount I would pay for that job was written on the card. Each level of job corresponded to a color of paper and was paid a

set amount of money.

The division of jobs included the following.

--On blue pieces of paper were written easy/quick jobs with (small) amount of money to be paid for job. Every day Monday thru' Friday the child chose 2 blue jobs to do.

--On orange pieces of paper were written tougher/longer jobs with (a little bigger) amount of money to be paid for job.

Twice during Monday thru' Friday, the child chose an orange job to do.

--On green pieces of paper were written muscular/time consuming jobs with (the biggest) amount of money to be paid for job.

Each week during Monday thru' Friday, the child chose one green job.

I made the list of jobs to do and my kids helped me to decide which category to put them in.

- Glenda Schoonmaker.

Great advice, isn't it?

How do I keep up with the laundry?

If laundry gets out of control, the whole house is in chaos. Here's what I suggest:

Do one load of laundry every morning no matter what. Put it on as soon as you're out of the shower so that it becomes your morning ritual. Carry your laundry basket to the washer,

in one place at one time, doing it, and then actually folding it all at once. Then you don't have to worry about it, and it

doesn't pile up around your house. If you don't have enough money for a washer or dryer, or enough room, then don't worry. This may be just what you need to give you the push to get

organized!

2. Finally, someone suggested having kids match socks while they're watching TV. It can be one of their weekly chores. Keep a basket where all the unmatched socks go, and let the